THIS MONTH'S KEY MESSAGE
I am willing & ready to make space for love & my true self.
This month's theme is reduce, reclaim, relate. Understanding what creates relationship blocks and why, empowers you to make more conscious choices about what you want to continue carrying in your emotional baggage. Clearing and reducing your blocks lets you make space for the mutually fulfilling loving relationship you want but also clears the way for you to be your highest, truest, most loving self.
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The Library Podcast Ep 4: How Nat recognised her blocks
Each month you will enjoy access to a podcast episode created exclusively for members where I will share on an experience I’ve been through and highlight ways to get out of your own way, how to reduce ‘baggage’, and how to turn those head-wrecking and painful experiences into a gift.
Listen below or download here.
Get Out of Stuck Guide
Get Out of Stuck is the Baggage Reclaim process for homing in on unhealthy beliefs and associations that are keeping you stuck in a pattern that isn’t working for you. If you’ve taken many rides on the disappointment cycle and are wondering how your thinking is affecting your attitude and choices, this is the guide for you. This guide takes a compassionate look under the hood of beliefs and helps you to uncover the motivations and past experiences that are driving you today.
The ebook features 21 lessons packed with actionable tools and mindset-shifts that have helped me to transform my own life and live and love with my self-esteem in tow. If you’re tired of winding up in variations of the same situation with similar people in different packages; if you’re tired of feeling afraid or feeling gripped by something from your past, Get Out of Stuck is a healing process that will arm you with compassionate tools to give you your freedom. I developed this process and guide in response to the many requests for insight into how I’ve healed and grown my own self-awareness and self-knowledge.
Don't forget that foundational items like the Clearing Associations, Unsent Letter, and Feelings Diary guide are in the foundational resources area.
*This ebook version sells for £7.49 in the BR Shop
Needs Quick Guide
Your needs, which is anything that’s essential and very important to you rather than just being a ‘nice to have’, are very closely linked with your values, which are your preferences for how you want to live. If you’re living by your values, you’re meeting your needs as a by-product of that and if you’re meeting your needs as well as voicing them in situations where it requires input from someone else (like in a relationship), then you have the well-being to live your life happily and authentically (your values).
This quick guide is designed to help you brainstorm and identify your needs. The clearer you are about your needs, is the better you will be able to take care of you both via self-care actions and who you choose to engage with in your relationships.
This short exercise is incredibly illuminating. You can very quickly see why certain types of relationships and previously unmet needs are a source of stress for you. Grab four sheets of paper or use your journal.
On sheet #1, write down the needs that you expected your parents to meet when you were a child.
On sheet #2, write down the needs that you have of your parents now that you're an adult or anything that you feel is an unmet need that you have from them that tends to cause you to seek validation from them and/or has been a source of pain because they're not around to fulfill it now.
On sheet #3, write down the needs that you have of romantic partners.
On sheet #4, write down the needs that you are currently meeting for yourself.
Note--if you experience a lot of stress around friendships or a work relationship, add in 2 more sheets, #5 for what you expect of friends and #6 for what you expect from coworkers or your boss.
If #1 and #2 are the same or very similar, you can see where you're still in a child role with your parents/caregivers.
If #3 has a lot of crossover with #1 and #2, you can see where romantic partners have been parental replacements or certainly treated as authority figures. This represents unmet needs in #1 and #2. How has this affected you and your relationships? Can you see where you've been setting you up for pain by trying to fill these voids with partners?
If #4 doesn't have much of 1, 2 or 3 on it, you can see where you're shortchanging you by not being what you seek from others. You can immediately see areas where you can have better self-care.
If you do #5 or #6, you can see where wounds from earlier in life that still need healing are showing themselves in your other interpersonal relationships. For example, a lot of the people who I have done this exercise with have major lightbulb moments about why they let their 'best friend' walk all over them and why they feel so triggered by a passive aggressive or aggressive co-worker.
Needs Journaling Guide
The purpose of this journaling guide is to provide you with plenty of prompts and inspiration for uncovering your needs, which are tied to your desires and values. If you cannot articulate your needs and are not meeting most of them in some way, not only do you probably not know your needs that well but you’re also going to be heavily reliant on external esteem and looking for attention, affection, approval and validation, in the wrong places.
Originally created for The People Pleasing Diet, this guide features eleven prompts along with guidance for each one.
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Build Your Self-Esteem
In this meaty video class which hasn't been released before, I do a deep dive on self-esteem and guide you through taking small steps every day by catering to the vital ingredients of your well-being. I explain what the vital ingredients are, how they look in real terms, and suggestions for moving forward with these in your life.