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BS Diet: Rooting Out Denial

In this class: Help with critical skills being realistic, responsibility and accountability, receiving, processing and giving feedback.

Why do you want to root out denial? Because it’s knowledge of truth that you’re treating as unacceptable and replacing with illusions and assumptions that can actually cause you pain and erode your self-esteem if you allow yourself to be too caught up in them.

1. What do you suspect or know about something or someone that you keep pushing down?

Instead of pushing it down, acknowledge it and enter it into your consciousness. Is whatever you are covering it over with actually true? If not, you need to face what you’re not acknowledging and assess what this means to you and this person/situation. You also, if appropriate need to consider the next action.

2. Are you doing something at the moment that on some level you know is actually an unhealthy or even dangerous path?

What is it? Why? What’s the payoff? What are you trying to avoid? What are you shutting out?

What would the next steps be in taking you off this current course of action?

3. Which ‘messages’ keeps popping into your head or even nagging at you?

Keep a note of it. Evaluate why you’re ignoring it. What is it communicating to you that you need to listen to?

4. Is there something that keeps popping into your head that is essentially an instruction for you to do something (like a todo item or something of importance) that you keep putting off?

You’ve probably spent more time putting it off than it would have done to do whatever it is.

5. Have you lied about something recently no matter how innocuous you think it was?

If yes, what was it? If there’s more than one, get a list going. If you’re noticing that you’re lying a lot, even if it’s about pretending to feel something that you don’t or hiding the truth of a situation from people, look at each one and evaluate why and also look at what you perceive as The Cost Of Being Truthful. Is there an actual cost even? Who is experiencing the cost of your lies? What would be the benefit of being truthful (trust me there’s plenty) and how can you inject more truth into your life?

6. Has anyone that you are close to or involved with in some capacity lied to you recently, even if they don’t necessarily ‘consider’ it to be a lie? If yes, have you explained away the lie or even shut it out?

Write out what the lie was and ask yourself why even if they’re lying, why are you being complicit in the lie? If you take out the excuses and rationalising or even downplaying and denial, what are you left with? It doesn’t mean that this has to be some devastating lie, or something big has to happen, but what you do have to ask is why you have a problem with being honest with yourself and honest about who people are even if they are not honest themselves?

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