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Day 4. Hello Inner Voice

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When you have a very forceful inner critic and you’re not self-aware enough to know what your own values and boundaries are, you may not realise that there’s a difference between your inner critic and your inner voice, plus you’re also going to assume, based on the fact that you already make assumptions about your thoughts and feelings, that what your inner critic says is true.

If there’s been a faint voice in there trying to object to your inner critic or trying to steer you away from danger, or trying to tell you what you truly want, need, expect, feel, and think and then another voice or critical voice-over takes precedence, the faint one is your inner voice.

Have you ever been in a situation where on the surface, it seemed as if everything was ‘OK’ or ‘good’ in terms of ticking certain boxes and yet, you had a funny feeling about them? Hesitation kept coming up and you just didn’t feel comfortable.

Have you ever had an idea about something but then your inner critic combined with doubt and fear meant that you didn’t pursue it? Do you get whisperings about that idea? Or, did someone else do it and you kicked yourself?

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve known what’s happening or what you need to do but have stalled on taking action and then felt bad about it afterwards?

What I’m talking about here are instances when your inner voice has tried to alert you to something or guide you, or has tried to connect you with your purpose, desires or who you really are, or has helped you sense and know how things are.

Your inner voice is your inner dialogue. It’s the general inner ‘conversation’ taking place. It’s thinking in words and a stream of consciousness. You’re consciously aware of some of this dialogue and semi-conscious for the rest of it.

Your inner voice represents your true self. It’s letting you know how you feel about what is going on around you. It’s giving you clues about your inner state. By allowing you to think and allowing you to feel, so exploring what your thoughts are on something, how you feel, your body’s responses, you’re giving you seniority rather than ego-led and as a result, externally led parts of you. Whatever you respond back to with your ‘rules’ about what you should and must do, whatever you know in your heart is right or wrong but you’re afraid to listen to for fear of pissing off your inner critic and/or being ‘wrong’ or judged, that’s your inner voice.

If you put your inner voice, inner critic, inner child (those younger parts of you that act out if you’re not taking up an adult role in a situation), pleaser part of you or anyone else around a table, you need to be at the head of the table.

Your inner voice wants you to pay attention and take care of you so that when you need to act, you can rely on you.

It also wants to guide and direct you to living up to your values, making decisions, choosing people in your Circle of Trust wisely, and to get to know and like you. It also wants to help you not put the past on repeat, to grow, to listen so that you can heal from previous experiences by thinking and choosing differently.

I think our inner voices really go beyond the five senses, calling us to go deeper, to listen to pick up on whisperings, to listen to our higher selves, so basically to go beyond our ego.

The thing is, it’s impossible to listen to all of your inner dialogue because, well, you’re busy with life stuff, so what your inner voice and you need is for you to take care of you on a day-to-day basis and be willing to tune into you when you need to figure out something or when you pick up on signs from it that you need to get grounded by paying closer attention.

You have means of knowing when to listen to you more closely - this is where your emotions combine to help you use your gut and intuition.

In a nutshell (don’t worry, this will be covered throughout the project), your emotions give you clues about your inner state as well as what’s going on around you. They are notifications to help you figure out what you can do for you. Emotions happen instinctively without reasoning and knowledge (these are provided by you) but if you consistently listen to you (this shows you support), you develop stronger connections between your inner voice and your emotions, so you are able to trust your intuition more - your instincts will pick up that there is something that you need to be or do, or you will get a sense of the guidance it’s giving to you. You will be more aware in those moments where you’re not sure what the information is but you know that you need to gain clarity or find out more.

As you don’t have a crystal ball and so can’t see into the future, what you cannot do is rely purely on someone else or your inner critic. You need to build up a relationship with your inner voice so that combined with using the best of the knowledge you have at the time, your gut, and so how you instinctively feel when you’re considering the decision, is able to help you out.

Do you know what happens when you spend the bulk of your awake time living unconsciously, so not being connected to who you are, so your feelings, thoughts, needs, expectations, desires, actions and choices? Yep, you live based on patterns. You become distanced from your inner voice. You ignore it and on some level you will start to feel angry, resentful, sad, abandoned even because the most important part of you is unheard and thinks that you don’t care.

If you are not paying attention to your inner voice and so ignoring notifications from your emotions and also how the consequences of experiences are being felt, you will keep experiencing repeats of the same lesson and your body will go to greater lengths to show you that you need to pay attention.

The TAKEAWAY

  • If you put your inner voice, inner critic and inner child on a podium, your inner voice comes first. You acknowledge these parts of you, use useful feedback, reassure etc, but you’re boundaried and you get the final say on everything.
  • You will not always know why you feel something but if instead of criticising you and shutting down the information, you take note, at some point you will understand what it was that you picked up. It might become clearer in this situation or with this person, or you might have your A-ha moment elsewhere.
  • If you ever think, Am I being too sensitive?, Am I being ‘too needy’? or think stuff about you being “negative” after you noticed something, odds are that your inner voice just gave you a nugget or even a treasure chest of information.
  • You will know that it’s not your inner voice if it’s got too much focus on ego - judgment, who’s inferior, who’s superior, instant gratification etc.
  • Note that feelings aren’t facts, especially as a hell of a lot of us have a habit of mislabelling feelings with judgments about ourselves. When you get hooked up to your inner voice on a consistent basis, due to having a more conscious relationship with you, you will be able to get a sense of your feelings, your thoughts, and also what is going on around you and respond.
  • Your inner voice is not supposed to tell you what you want to hear but it is always supportive. Supportive does not mean, “Never alerts me to when I’m going off message” or “Let’s me do whatever I want”.
  • If you keep ignoring your inner voice and so you’re not taking care of you, having healthy boundaries, instead of your supportive inner voice guiding you, you will have an inner critic thinking that it’s doing a better job but you will feel so beaten down from the results of not listening to you, that the inner critic’s crass and often inappropriate ways of communicating the same message will only make things worse.

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