Over the next 21 lessons [wlm_firstname], I’ll share life changing insights that have transformed the way I see me as well as how I make the journey that is my life. I first wrote Get Out Of Stuck as a mini ebook guide in September 2010 and since then, thousands of readers have used it to shake up their perspective and to break unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaviour. The new edition is delivered over twenty-one lessons.
Back in September 2005, I began writing Baggage Reclaim (BR) to help people discover their true selves and offload the baggage that causes unhealthy habits of thinking and behaviour, including a propensity to be involved in toxic relationships and being highly self-critical.
Just weeks before I embarked on my BR journey, I ended yet another barely-there relationship and had been given a poor prognosis for my health. At the time, I cared more about how I and my life looked on the outside than I did about how I treated me on the inside.
Being told that there wasn’t a cure and that I needed to go on lifelong medication triggered a major epiphany. Winning over Mr Unavailables and trying to get my parents to make up for what they weren’t in my childhood, suddenly stopped being my number one priority. I started asking the question:
If I’m the only common denominator to my experiences, what is it that I’m bringing to the table?
It wasn’t that I was capable of mind-bending people and that my worth was bringing out the worst. This was my old thinking…
The answer: My beliefs and the way that I responded to situations.
I’d spent my whole life looking for love and validation in the wrong places. I never felt safe and secure within myself. My life had a narrator chiming in with messages that I wasn’t good or lovable enough, and that other people’s behaviour and the disappointments I experienced, were all my fault. I’d had more shady relationships than hot dinners and was emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually falling apart due to my people-pleasing habits.
Afraid of conflict, criticism, disappointment and rejection, due to the beliefs stemming from my experiences as a child, I also had a pervasive fear of abandonment and kept trying to right the wrongs of the past. I defined me by virtue of my background, my experiences including any mistakes, as well as where people hadn’t lived up to my expectations. I thought that I would never get over my childhood, that I had terrible flaws that made me unlovable and that turned emotionally available people unavailable, and that ultimately, I was unworthy of being treated with love, care, trust, and respect. I gravitated to people and situations that reflected this and confirmed my beliefs.
How have I gone from being someone who didn’t like or love herself, to treating and regarding me with compassion, and who no longer defines herself by virtue of the past?
A huge part of my journey to healthier self-esteem and relationships has been about uncovering my underlying beliefs and gaining a balanced, sometimes more adult perspective. Over the next 21 lessons, I’m going to share my insights, tips and tools for helping you do this for yourself. I’m going to help you change the meaning, change the feeling, and change the nature of your journey through life. You’re not here to reinforce the worst of what you believe about you. you’re here to enjoy discovering and being your true self.
TRACK YOUR PROGRESS
On each of the lessons you will find a check box to tick once you have worked through the content, completed tasks etc. As you complete those tasks, this list will automatically update.