THIS MONTH'S KEY MESSAGE
I deserve to upgrade me with love, care, trust and respect
This month's theme is self-care. Loving yourself comes about through acts of self-care. It’s those little things that you do for you, consistently.
It’s also about how you spend your time and who you spend it with. When you own yourself wholly and fully, you are empowered in and out of your relationships. You will not accept less than what you can already do for yourself. You recognise love, care, trust and respect. You shift out of whatever space, whatever pattern you have been in and you raise you up.
Upgrade yourself. You deserve it.
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The Library Podcast Ep 2: How Nat learned How To Parent Herself (& You Can Too)
Each month you will enjoy access to a podcast episode created exclusively for members where I will share on an experience I’ve been through and highlight ways to get out of your own way, how to reduce ‘baggage’, and how to turn those head-wrecking and painful experiences into a gift.
How To Self-Soothe - Quick Guide
One of the things that I stress to any person who’s working on their self-esteem is how critical it is to learn how to take care of you. When you're faced with life's inevitable difﬁculties, having the ability to nurture yourself and to respond to your needs is invaluable. Like anything, it's something that takes practice and you also need to have the curiosity to engage in discovery through trial and error about what works for you.
This is ultimately what building your self-esteem is about - ﬁnding out and practising how to treat and regard yourself with love, care, trust and respect. You need to learn how to self-soothe - you have conscious and unconscious means of managing your emotional responses to various thoughts and situations.
Day Tracker Worksheet & Guidelines
If you’re embarking on No Contact (NC) or are already doing it but feel like you’re on a rollercoaster of emotions and don’t understand where your urges to make contact are coming from, aside from a Feelings Diary, using Day Tracker Sheets, especially in the first couple of weeks or where you’re experiencing a tough period, can help you to see where you’re being affected. Even outside of NC, lots of my students have used these tracker sheets to identify gaps in their self-care and what might be sources of stress, such as not eating or lack of sleep.
The Doubt Buster Guide
If you’ve struggled to let go of an unhealthy relationship or are struggling to find and retain the motivation and confidence to tackle the habits affecting your self-esteem, it’s important to recognise that, underneath or even very close to the surface, you are struggling with doubts. Print out this worksheet (or type directly into it) and spend 30-60 minutes of focused, uninterrupted time pulling your doubts out. I do find pen and paper gets the mind going, so print out if you can.
The Fear Buster Guide
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat. When you have low self-esteem,living in fear gets in the way of loving yourself. Most of your energy is involved in thinking about and avoiding realising your fears – where is the room for you to think about and love you? If you’re immersed in being scared you’re not loving you. Print out this worksheet if you can (or type directly into it) and spend 30-60 minutes of focused, uninterrupted time pulling your fears out.
Code Amber & Red Cheat Sheet For No Contact
No Contact is one of the biggest and important acts of self-care. If you are engaging with a toxic person or in a toxic situation, it drains you out. It drags down your self-esteem and it will impact on the other areas of your life. No Contact actually cares for both parties by ending the toxic dynamic. This cheat sheet removes any ambiguity around whether or not you need to step back from this person and situation. Remember, if you can’t love and take of you around a particular person, it’s time to let go.
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