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Lesson eighteen: Challenge the Fear of Transforming Your Beliefs by Asking, Is It Real or Is It Imagined?

When you’re working on transforming your beliefs, it’s important to consider the fears that hold you back and then challenge the threat level.

Is it real or is it imagined?

When you have issues with trusting something or someone, it is good to ask whether the distrust that you feel with a particular person is based on something internal or external, or a combination of both. This will help you to bring calm and objectivity into situations where you feel afraid but are not yet clear as to why.

Internal means that it is your own record playing (The Story/Narrative). Your beliefs cause you to feel afraid because you won’t have faith in something or someone.

External means that there is evidence outside of you, not just your own fears and imagination, that are causes for concern – i.e. events that are happening, things that are being said and done by a person, or a conflict of actions not matching words.

External means knowledge.

If you are not acknowledging external evidence, you are treating it as fear, which would mean it isn’t currently happening despite it being knowledge, which means that you need to have an active response. Why you’re not taking action is linked to, yep – you guessed it – your beliefs and fears.

Both internal and external means that because you are seeing real external evidence of your concerns. Your emotional response is trying to communicate to you that something is wrong. This is indicative of your boundaries being crossed and a sign that you need to take action. You’re freezing and even moving closer to something or someone where you should be taking flight or fighting (having an active response). Even though it’s possible that there is some insecurity going on, your gut, as well as your brain, are trying to get you to listen.

Learning to decipher between internal and external fear will enable you to be more conscious, aware, and present while also calming down anxiety and building your confidence through taking action. This is better than being too in your own head.

Remember that learning to listen to you and to decipher between the chatter of insecurity (that type of noise will likely try to rationalise, justify, minimise and deny external evidence and blame it on you) and your gut and inner voice, is on the job training. Your aim is not to do this perfectly. Your aim is to listen to you and to be grounded in the type of evidence and ‘knowledge’ you’re using to guide your life and your decisions.

Each time you feel afraid of trusting what you are learning through balancing your beliefs, ask: Is it real or is it imagined?

Remember to look for evidence to support your revised beliefs and also remember that feeling afraid because you’re changing, doesn’t mean that your new beliefs are “wrong” or “bad”. By questioning instead of automatically accepting your fears, you are learning to stop accepting negative assessments of you as fact.

Keep striving.


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