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Lesson twenty-one: It’s A Journey – Don’t Expect Instant Results… But Change Is ‘A Coming

Congratulations [accessally_user_firstname]! You’ve reached lesson 21 of Get Out Of Stuck. Do you feel as if you are increasing self-awareness and self-knowledge? If you’ve stuck it out this long – thanks for sticking around! It’s safe to say that you’re genuinely curious and resolute in your desire to know you better but to also challenge what you’ve unwittingly accepted as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

What I will say to you that I want you to keep in mind, not just about beliefs but about anything that pertains to improving your well-being and investing in you is, remember that this is a journey that you’re making through life and don’t expect or chase instant results.

Uncovering, transforming, and challenging your beliefs is not a microwave meal type process. You don’t go from “I’m not good enough” on a Monday to “I’m good enough” and all of the actions to reflect this on a Tuesday. It’s a process. It’s a journey. If you’ve ever seen those skits of sermons where the person who hasn’t walked, rolls into church, has a few words from the preacher and his hands laid on him/her and then leaps up and says, “I can WALK!”, then you will understand when I stress the importance of not expecting to jump into every experience you’ve desired straight away. You didn’t get into your old thinking in a hot minute after all.

Some changes happen deep down inside of you. And the truth is, only you know about them. Judy BlumeChanges are going on right now that you may not even be aware of. It’s only in a few months time when you suddenly realise how you’ve grown in that time or when you notice how you don’t see you in the centre of a person’s behaviour, that it begins to dawn that letting go of certain reasons for why things have happened and replacing them with fresh, balanced perspective, is changing your view and helping you to feel good.

You will still have moments where you have doubts and ‘old you’ that believes the old reasons shows up to test you out and wreck your head. I experienced this with a comparison spiral that gave me a really big boot up the backside. But these very human moments of life give you an opportunity to listen to you. You can also read about how I got out of that spiral.

I’ve found it very useful to ask questions like:

• What would somebody who isn’t scared of the same things do?
• What can I do to improve my situation even if it doesn’t 100% fix it immediately?
• How can I help me to feel better?
• What would someone with boundaries do?
• Am I hangry (hungry and angry) or hanxious (hungry and anxious)?

Ever since I admitted how hunger and lack of sleep can turn me a bit doolally – seriously, my inner child comes out full force – and have me carrying on as if the sky is falling down, I’ve met so many people who go through this too. Keep a note of your moods  (Feelings Diary) – you may find that sharp shifts in mood are directly related to these.

I’ve said it a number of times, and I’ll say it again: if a belief doesn’t positively serve you, it’s not worth holding onto.

You are better placed to put all of your energy into offloading it than you are to be reinforcing it. All that the latter will do is keep you stuck and drain you of your mojo, which will just reinforce this idea that there’s something wrong with you.

Thinking can be changed so don’t treat any negative belief or difficult feeling like a permanent statement of your future.  You will have to be very conscious initially about what you feed your mind and to challenge the negative chatter in your head but keep affirming the positive and balanced realisations that you’ve been making. When the negative thoughts and reasoning pop up, talk back and correct that old version of events – and you will gradually see and experience a shift.

Change is ‘a coming. Believe it.

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