MODULE 5 – BECOMING MORE OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE
Each week, I will include a few handy tasks and resources. All are optional, of course, but, highly recommended if you want to get the most out of the course. And no, you do not need to do every single journaling prompt.
Core & Secondary Values Overview | Download the PDF
What Are My Values? | Download the PDF
Getting Into Reality With Values | Download the PDF
100 Days of Baggage Reclaim | Week 5
As proof of how small habits can make a profound difference, this book and journaling guide has helped thousands of people to take small steps every day and as part of Build Your Self-Esteem, I’m including it to help you enjoy the wisdom, tips, tools and journaling prompts that I share. Each week of the course, you will receive 7 days of the prompts…plus a little extra. I recommend just doing one per day (doesn’t need more than 5-10 minutes) although, of course, you can opt to do them all in one go. | Download the PDF
One of the habits that I’ve found incredibly handy when I’m faced with a difficult situation and am unsure what to do, or I find myself irritated or annoyed with somebody and am contemplating a variety of responses, is to ask myself, What are my values for this situation? So, for instance, I see stuff on Facebook that sets my teeth on edge and in the past, my head got super busy about it and I was sometimes tempted to comment about it, until I remembered that this is not who I am or who I want to be. I learned to live and let live and click off. Over time, I noticed that I found Facebook draining so I deleted the app from my phone and I limit my time on there.
In the past I’ve been resistant to having ‘too much’ structure but I have learned and am learning that in any area where I want to experience more satisfaction, peace et al and where I want to evolve my typical experience, it takes discipline. Now, I, like a lot of people, don’t have the most positive associations with discipline and so I have been teaching myself new associations by acknowledging that being disciplined is not about being rigid or punishing or anything like that. Instead, having an attitude of joyful discipline has been about recognising some of the freedom that comes with saying no to things that don’t work for me and taking pleasure and pride in being consistent about the things that matter, so that I make space for feeling good, purposeful and accomplished. Understanding that if I encourage myself to be focused, to have my priorities in sight, that I will have a far better day than if I just bumble through the day and hope it all comes together, has been transformative. Joyful discipline is about remembering the positive intentions that you have and trying to make choices that steer you in that direction. Basically, try to have a happier attitude about having to make different choices to create fresh outcomes.
CHANGE ‘SHOULD’ TO CAN
Next time you catch yourself in a rule, instead of sticking with I should, change it to If I really wanted to, I could. See how that fits. For example, I should let Melanie have her way becomes If I really wanted to, I could let Melanie have her way. This is where you get to not only acknowledge choices as well as desires and so-called obligation, but you get to discern whether you letting Melanie ‘have her way’, is about dodging having values and a made-up rule. You can insert a ‘why’ between the switch, so you could, in this example, explain to yourself why Melanie has to have her way, which would explain the ‘rule’. I should let Melanie have her way because that’s what unselfish people do. When you acknowledge your ‘could’, you can then make a decision without obligation. If I really wanted to, I could let Melanie have her way, but I don’t want to quite simply because I don’t have to and I’ve always bent to what she wanted even when it was damaging to my wellbeing. Boom. You now have a clear view to the difference between doing something out of obligation and doing it because you want to, but you’re also clearer on authenticity and value.