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MODULE 7 – BUILDING RESILIENCE IN YOUR EMOTIONAL BACKBONE

This module is all about learning how to deal with the inevitables that many of us find taxing, particularly when we’re not sure of ourselves. Learning how to respond from a place of self-esteem to these inevitables–stress, conflict, criticism, disappointment, rejection and loss–raises, not just our resilience but also our self-esteem. Learn about why we struggle with these, how they’re here to help us, the mindset shifts we need to make if we want to approach these from a different place, and learn some small habits to help with the practicals of taking the next steps to being willing to deal with these.

Building Resilience audio | slides

Get Into A Better Relationship With Stress audio | slides

Get Into A Better Relationship With C-Situations audio | slides

Get Into A Better Relationship With Disappointment audio | slides

Get Into A Better Relationship With Rejection audio | slides

Get Into A Better Relationship With Loss audio | slides

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Each week, I will include a few handy tasks and resources. All are optional, of course, but, highly recommended if you want to get the most out of the course. And no, you do not need to do every single journaling prompt.

Get To Grips With C-Situations | Download the PDF

How To Handle Conflict Without The Sky Falling Down | Download the PDF

20 Powerful Mindset Shifts Around Rejection | Download the PDF

Work Through Disappointment| Download the PDF

100 Days of Baggage Reclaim | Week 7

As proof of how small habits can make a profound difference, this book and journaling guide has helped thousands of people to take small steps every day and as part of Build Your Self-Esteem, I’m including it to help you enjoy the wisdom, tips, tools and journaling prompts that I share. Each week of the course, you will receive 7 days of the prompts…plus a little extra. I recommend just doing one per day (doesn’t need more than 5-10 minutes) although, of course, you can opt to do them all in one go. | Download the PDF

RESOURCES

Clearing & Releasing Emotional Charge

1
Watch intro video
2
Building Resilience
3
Get Into A Better Relationship With Stress
4
Get Into A Better Relationship With C-Situations
5
Get Into A Better Relationship With Disappointment
6
Get Into A Better Relationship With Rejection
7
Get Into A Better Relationship With Loss
8
100 Days Week 7
9
Get To Grips With C-Situations
10
How To Handle Conflict Without The Sky Falling Down
11
20 Powerful Mindset Shifts Around Rejection
12
Work Through Disappointment

These are core resources that are the foundations of the Baggage Reclaim philosophy. I refer to them time and time and time again—they are all powerful tools that have been a fundamental part of my own transformation.

Clearing & Releasing Emotional Charge

How To Self-Soothe

Get Out Of Stuck | Beliefs Prompt | Get Out Of Stuck Quick Sheet | Beliefs Brainstorm Worksheet

Journaling Tips

Self-Care Practices For Working With Me

Feelings Diary | Journaling Guide

The Unsent Letter Guide

How to Write Letters to Your Younger Self

THE BIG ONE: HAVE LEVELS

For years now, I’ve been teaching people to have levels to what they feel are their sources of ‘drama’ and how they respond. This is because not everything warrants a response in the form of, for instance, getting into something with somebody about it, but it also doesn’t necessarily warrant us getting stressed out and giving ourselves a hard time. Graded from 1-5, anything that’s a 4 or 5 warrants some form of assertive action, 3 is middle of the road, so you can take a view on it, and 1 or 2 is let go. Take stress, conflict etc., and give them levels so that you can manage and choose your responses from a more conscious place. You start to truly think about what matters.

COUNT YOUR STRESSES.

Become cognisant of sources of stress in your life so that you take these into account when you’re beating yourself up or about to make a commitment to something new.

ACKNOWLEDGE PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

Headaches, tummy aches, tinnitus, jaw pain, exhaustion, anxiety attacks, recurring colds, and any chronic ailments. Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life has a handy guide in the back explaining the emotional causes of physical ailments. Or google her name plus the ailment.

MEET MORE OF YOUR COMMITMENTS [TO YOU]

If you have decided to get early nights, to exercise, to do a particular thing, but you keep dropping you for someone else, your inner critic will ride you like Zorro but your stress levels will also rise.

NOTE YOUR STRESS SIGNALS

Are you ratty, running around here, there and everywhere? Do you keep talking about how busy you are? What’s your body and mind saying? Make a note and put these signs on Post-its in prominent places around your home and in your diary so that you know when to dial it down.

‘LET ME GET BACK TO YOU’

Manage people’s expectations of you about doing something or even your own. Don’t say yes straight away, check your diary and current commitments.

Schedule downtime every day rather than saving it up for holidays

TRAIN YOURSELF TO RECOGNISE SIGNS OF PISSED-OFF-NESS

How does your body feel and where do you feel it? What are the thoughts?

HAVE A USE-BY DATE

Put an expiry date on how long you can be pissed off about something without having directly addressed it with the person in question.

GET OUT OF GET-MODE

Identify the hidden agenda. We invariably avoid c-situations because we think it’s going to endanger something else that we want. Ask, What is it that I want from this person?

GET GROUNDED

Count to ten and back down, take some breaths to release tension, be aware of your surroundings and remind yourself that the other person isn’t the enemy and that they’re not (whoever it is from the past).

DON’T PUT YOURSELF UNDER PRESSURE TO DEAL AND ‘FIX’ IMMEDIATELY

Take a little time to let things percolate and to distinguish between what’s yours and what’s theirs.

IF IT’S MINOR, LET IT GO AND MOVE ON
If it’s minor, let it go and move on. No one is ‘getting away’ with anything. Have levels 1-5.

REMEMBER YOUR VALUES!

If you know that you value compassion, integrity, responsibility, then even though your ego wants you to write off your future and tell lies about what went down, opt for truth.

PAUSE We can’t control all of

We can’t control all of life’s inevitables but we can choose how we respond. Every day, every choice, is an opportunity to make a new choice.

CATCH YOUR SHOULDS

Where there’s a should and a picture of how you think things should and will go down, there’s expectations, and they may not be flexible and realistic.

CATCH THE DEFAULT STORY

Recognise your rejection theme – e.g. I’m being left out. – and pause, get into your values, and get facts, not fiction on situations.

WHAT IS THE EXPECTATION/REQUEST THAT’S BEEN SAID NO TO?

Something is being asked or expected of the other party and that’s what’s being said no to.

MANAGE EXPECTATIONS WHERE MOST OF THE INFO YOU HAVE IS ASSUMPTIONS

This protects you from getting carried away due to painting pictures in your mind.

Acknowledge and remember your lucky escapes.

USE IMPATIENCE TO CALL FOR PATIENCE AND COMPASSION

Impatience is a sign of wanting you to fit into unrealistic expectations of how quickly you should be over something.

It’s OK to wallow, to struggle, but appreciate the good and OK days. It’s progress.

DON’T JUDGE HOW OTHER PEOPLE GRIEVE (OR DON’T)

Everyone has very specific reasons for why they do or don’t do something.

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