Over the last thirteen years, I’ve road-tested various tools and practices to help myself and others live and love with more self-esteem. These core resources are the foundation of the Baggage Reclaim philosophy, and I refer to them time and time and time again—they are all powerful tools that have been a fundamental part of my own transformation. In a hurry? There’s a full list of resources and download links here. Please note: this page is still updating to the new design so not all items have an enhanced description.
AN INTRO TO THE RESOURCES
START HERE: THE 360-DEGREE CHECK
If you’re wondering where to start or you’ve wondered How do I get to know myself more? or How do I begin to figure out who I am?, these twenty questions are the beginning of getting a more holistic view of you so that you can identify not just next steps but also positives in your life that you might not be acknowledging yet.
DOWNLOAD THE RESOURCES
THE UNSENT LETTER GUIDE
I first created my Unsent Letter Guide almost ten years ago after utilising letter writing in my healing. Since then, I’ve updated it a couple of times, and over the years it’s been downloaded many thousands of times and helped a hell of a lot of people.
Letter writing is a powerful journaling process that allows you to get in touch with your emotions and work through events and experiences from the past, by writing out your feelings with highly therapeutic and transformative letters that remain unsent. Yes, unsent! This process has helped people deal with everything from childhood wounds, to breakups, to fallouts with friends and family, to painful career experiences that are denting their confidence.
FEELINGS DIARY GUIDE
In the very early days of writing Baggage Reclaim, a reader contacted me for help with figuring out what to do about her relatively new relationship. She was keen to break her old pattern, but self-doubt got in the way. I suggested that she keep short notes about what she was feeling, when, contributing factors etc. I heard from her a couple of weeks later and the process had helped her realise that she was ignoring herself and disregarding signs that they weren’t a good fit. The feelings diary was born and since then, it’s become a foundational tool that I’ve shared and taught to thousands of people. This journaling process is a short, simple yet powerful habit that can easily fit into your day and yield significant results. If you’re keen to break patterns, enjoy an increased sense of self so that your confidence and decision-making improves, and to foster more intimate relationships, this process will aid you in becoming more emotionally available.
Hands up who remembers that lesson from school or home about how to soothe and calm you when you encounter stress that naturally triggers emotional responses? Yep, me neither.
Self-soothing is something typically associated with babies, but that’s actually critical to every human’s emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Knowing how to regulate, neutralise and even bring out the best in you emotionally is something that with even a little practice, makes a profound difference and will make you more resilient to life’s inevitables (stress, conflict, criticism, disappointment etc.) My guide demystifies self-soothing and offers up practical first steps for getting you on the road to self-care.
GET OUT OF STUCK GUIDE
Figuring out what lies beneath our actions and thinking is a game changer because as soon as we start to question the stories, the reasoning habits that inform the way we treat and regard ourselves, is the moment that we start to dismantle patterns that have been running our life in a negative ways.
If you’re stuck, it’s a belief that got you there.
Everyone goes through this and no one is exempt. I created Get Out of Stuck a decade ago to help people compassionately investigate their beliefs so that they could stop being in variations of the same situations. This powerful guide has twenty-one lessons and accompanying worksheets to help you change the meaning, change the feeling, change your experiences.
Note: This guide works very well with The Unsent Letter Guide
One Christmas, I was away on a mini-break with my family and noticed that I was getting a lot of emails about challenges for the new year, many with the intention of focusing on goals. It occurred to me that, 1) we don’t need to wait for the start of the year to make changes in our life but also that 2) how lovely would it be if we could improve how we feel about ourselves one day, one step at a time with guidance and inspiration. I wondered what we could do in just three short months. And so 100 Days of Baggage Reclaim was born. I ran it by email, initially, but realised that it was easier to put all the days together into a book. One day I plan to make this into a physical journal.
The book is filled with one hundred different bite-sized ideas and insights to help you treat and regard you differently to how you did at the start. Self-esteem is the sum of the thoughts that you feed you and the way that you treat you, and I’m a big believer in the power of the cumulative effect of little and often. Each day features a journaling prompt, and there are occasional tasks, and you can be assured that you will know yourself a great deal more at the end of 100 days — and have grown in self-love.
The book is one of the things I birthed and then let it mosey along on its own. I realised how powerful it is when I started receiving messages from people telling me how much it had changed their lives. If the idea of just journaling freehand without some form of daily structure isn’t your thing, 100 Days of Baggage Reclaim is perfect to get you up and running with journaling.
WHAT ARE MY VALUES?
Figuring out who we are and what matters to us is vital to our wellbeing. It helps us to feel purposeful and connected. It helps us to meet our needs and to live happily and authentically. We have a North Star to guide us. This is why it’s critical to discover your core values, your preferences, principles and priorities for your life. Getting a sense of your character and direction is a game changer that helps you to align with compatible people, situations and things that help us meet our emotional needs.
In this newly updated edition of this guide that I first created back in 2011, use this simple but powerful exercise to get to the heart of your values. This guide works really well with ‘What’s Driving You?’ guide as well as the Clearing and Releasing Emotional Charge and My Big Beautiful Boundaries.
A new addition to the foundational resources, this workbook helps you to do deep work on your needs so that you can understand what motivates you to make the choices that you do — and so that you can choose and live more confidently.
Self-awareness and self-knowledge is the master key for breaking patterns and experiencing significant growth.
Use this workbook to become familiar with the needs that show up in your life on a frequent basis. Identify the themes and you identify what’s driving you. These don’t just represent what you might perceive as “weaknesses”; these same needs can also help you play to your strengths. People who understand their needs and take responsibility for them, live their life from a place of self-care. They also break the cycle of looking for external validation to build their self-esteem on.
Use the follow-up guide to deepen your awareness and knowledge of the information you’ve gathered. It’s also got tips to move you forward so that you can feel more in command of you. Make sure that you check in with this work on a regular basis and that you notice how your identified needs are showing up in your life.
This guide works particularly well with the What Are My Values? and the Clearing and Releasing Guides, plus journaling work like the Unsent Letter Guide and Letters To My Younger Self will help you to have the much-needed compassion to move forward. Also check out the masterclasses on needs and wants.